thinks you’re sick, you can call your parents. But also, I wouldn’t eat all the frosting like you usually do when we’re decorating cookies. -Joey Sports: Field Day Tug-Of-War Joey’s team loses to the other half of the class Despite a well-fought struggle that lasted nearly 30 seconds, Joey’s team couldn’t repeat in the Tug-of-War Championship this past 昀椀eld day. Coach Joey carefully nominated himself as anchor for his team’s half of the rope, but despite assertions that he had won Tug-of-War before, and he knew how to be the anchor, Joey’s team lost 1.3 yards of ground within the 昀椀rst ten seconds of the match and ended up losing the remaining 0.7 yards in the remaining 18 seconds before referee Ms. Williams blew her whistle. “We basically won,” Joey said after the match. “If the other team wouldn’t have had all the strong people on it I could’ve beaten them easily.” When asked about the other team’s performance, Joey added, “We really need to have a rematch; the sun was in my eyes, so I couldn’t see what was going on.” Rounding out Joey’s team were Bart (-2.0 yds), Jacob (-2.0 yds), Suzie (-2.0 yds), and Billy (-2.0 yds). One or two scrimmages have been planned before the teams face in a rematch during Spring Field Day. PLAINS PARADOX ■ 20