7 They say they don’t want me to be bitter and die young. 8 9 They say that he’s the best guy they know. That he 10 cried when the police talked to him. That he apologized 11 12 for “whatever he did.” They ask about funerals. How will we all sing hymns together? 13 I say I won’t be there. 14 I tell them I won’t ever be in the same room with him again. 18+ I leave for college. 2 3 I have female professors. I wear jeans. I’m allowed to question and debate with male students and professors. 4 5 I say “fuck” and “oh my god.” I have sex, watch R-rated 6 movies, and read books. I stop singing. PLAINS PARADOX ■ 32