were exposed, which were clearly trimmed, and while his hands did end in claws, they too were well contained and kept. His face, covered in fur, had very handsome features, like a pretty face that was covered in a very full beard, and the urge to pet him was almost unbearable. Before we were able to speak, I heard a great rustling from the table next to me, and someone yelled, “Fire!” I tried to ignore it as I honed in on my hairy, new friend. “Hey good lookin’. Why so pale?” He laughed to himself. Not the best intro I’ve heard all night, but after the 昀椀rst two strikes, everything felt like jovial conversation. Trying to ignore the blatant anti-vampirism, I moved past the comment. “So, tell me about yourself. What brings you to Transylvania?” “Do you really care?” I was genuinely curious; all this bravado, all this posturing, I couldn’t tell if he was genuinely serious or not. “Why’d you move here? Fewer full moons?” “You know, those are very hurtful stereotypes. Full moons happen monthly. We don’t have control on those nights, and many of us really try to focus on protecting those around us,” he said, but I could tell it was hidden behind pain. I knew that I was supposed to feel bad, but for some reason I didn’t. Movies tell me vampires hate werewolves, and I agreed with them wholeheartedly. My problem was that I couldn’t tell if I was irritated with the situation or with him. I settled on the fault being his. “Stereotypes bother you, huh? I’ve bet you’ve heard them all.” “I have, and none of them are funny: fuzzball, night howler, silver muncher. I bet you wanted to pet me when I 昀椀rst sat down!” Feeling judged, I approached my next sentence delicately. “Sure, we all don’t like being called names, but isn’t fear what makes us who we are? Humans are afraid of what they don’t know, and they de昀椀nitely don’t understand us. I mean, being a monster isn’t a walk in the park!” He stands up, aghast. “A walk in the park? Very Funny! Let me guess, if we were to date, you’d probably have to bag my poop, huh? Howlllllll dare you!” He stormed out of the room. PLAINS PARADOX ■ 62