We won’t call it the solution to your dietary problems, but it can’t hurt to try. After all, when you put good stuff in, you get good stuff out. We prioritize health, safety, and speed with our meals, so please refer to your butcher cuts before cooking any dish with human meat. Check out our Store for those. Let’s begin with: 1. Honey Glazed Oblique A similar recipe to the classic honey-glazed salmon, strip your carcass of choice of their two external obliques, and cut into thin strips. Make sure to avoid the edges of the muscle, as these are generally tougher and less flavorful. Then, place the strips in bands across a preheated and oiled pan. Screaming hot. Cook for 3 min., then flip and repeat the process. This will develop a delicious crust. Add garlic and a dribble of cerebral fluid to the pan and cook for another minute. Baste the strips with a mix of lemon sauce and abdominal fat and call it a meal. For an extra bit of chew, we recommend a side of fried ear cartilage. 2. Meat Loaf A cherished dish among the cannibal community, so many variations of this classic plate exist, but only one is for us. Prepare a loaf pan with melted butter and stir together a mix of onions, celery, and spinal disks for 5 min. Then add a sauce of your choice (mashed oculars, spleen, and a hint of tomato if you want to keep in theme). Next, in a large bowl, combine a mixture of bread crumbs, eggs, and ground muscle. Press into a loaf, brush with a ketchup mixture, and bake for 45 min. Brush the remaining blend and cook for another 15-20 min. Let it cool for 16. Garnish with a sprinkle of scalp flakes, and enjoy! 3. Bloody Mary The same as a regular Bloody Mary, only replaced with distilled blood instead of four ounces of tomato juice. Embellish with a hint of tongue clippings. Adds a metallic but enjoyable aftertaste. Skin is In Our penultimate section is dedicated to the fashion and utility of human organs. • Intestines: They can provide a suitable but temporary pipe liner for damaged sinks or toilets. • Bladders: When properly dried and preserved, bladders can be used as recyclable water pouches for longer hikes or road trips. Just bury them when done, and they will decompose on their own. Remember, leave no trace! PLAINS 4 paradox