He laughed and put his hand on Sam’s shoulder. “Yes, Sam, I know. Now, what can I get you tonight?” “Get me … cigarettes.” Boomer, hospitable as ever, sold me the pipe at a quarter of the price and gave Sam a free pack of American Spirits. We were interrupted by a loud swarm of college girls laughing, singing, and greeting everyone in the store. “Boomer! Bestie! I want the other nipple pierced!” As we left, he gave us a sly smile before disappearing to the back. When the girls left, we decided to call it a night. I made the moral decision to take Sam, Will, and Mushroom Kid home. Will and I stood on either side of Sam, arms under his shoulders, holding him upright, and pushing him toward the car. He was reluctant to come with us as his legs flipped back and forth in an impression of a walk. The people we passed instinctively got out of our way. When I saw his eyes darting around, I knew something was coming. Sam reanimated, lunging out of our arms as a group of drunken, skipping sorority girls passed us. He pointed at them and shouted, “You fucking sluts! You whores!” Mushroom Kid walked back to Bessie alone as Will and I tried to get control of Sam. He ran away from us and started pissing on one of the trees behind the gas station. Will gave up and headed back to the minivan. Sam was my problem now. “Once you’re done, we're leaving.” He looked at me with a wild smile as he continued to pee. “Ha! Julian, you know … you're a … you're a good guy, a real good boy!” Sam looked right at me and chuckled. “You're going to heaven, man.” Something about his sarcasm excited me. The thrill of the hunt, I guess. He zipped himself up and took off. I ran after him, both of us laughing. He jumped onto a parked black Jeep and laid on top of it. I leaned against the side, out of breath. “Goddamn, Sam.” I caught my breath and joined him on the roof. “Julian! Pleasant of you to join me,'' he said, as though he'd been waiting for me at a high-class restaurant. I responded in my best Nordic accent. “Sam! We must go! You must follow me! For Valhalla awaits!” I was still drunk. “Julian, you're lying to me.” “Okay, you're right. I was lying. We are not going to Valhalla.” “Julian, you gotta stop thinking so much. There's nothing, man. It doesn't matter.” “I disagree with you.” I thought about the memories of the last year without him, like finding purpose on the road, and wishing he could’ve had my luck. I sat PLAINS 60 paradox